I’ve Been Here Before…

In the midst of a famine and war, David sang this song of thanksgiving and praise to the Lord:

1 Samuel 22:2-4 (NIV)

2The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer; 3my God is my rock in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior- from violent men you save me. 4I call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies.”

            I am reminded of the Third Day song “Trust in Jesus”:

“I trust in Jesus, my great Deliverer

My strong Defender, the Son of God

I trust in Jesus, blessed Redeemer

My Lord forever, the Holy One”


            The more that I trust in Jesus and allow Him to rule over my heart, the more intimate I become with God.  I’ve been so blessed to have my eyes reopened.  I say reopened because I’ve been here before.  I was a child at the age of 9 when I was first saved.  I didn’t fully understand it but I could identify the deposit of the Holy Spirit within me. It is simply astounding that God allowed me at such a young age to be personal with Him and ask really tough questions.  My greatest error in life thus far was loosing that childish wonder.  I grew weary of the world and pursued things and people.  Now that I have returned to my Father, he has transformed my mind into an entirely new facet of clarity.

            God has been revealing to me the answers to questions that I asked as an inquisitive child so many years ago-it just fills my heart to realize that over all those years God never gave up on me or forgot about me.  I like to think that there is even a level of humor to God revealing these things to me all these years later.  God’s timing is so beautiful.  He knew I could handle the wisdom as a child, but I didn’t.  I didn’t think I was worthy or mature enough as a child, but he did. Lord, please never let me forget how wise a child can be- no matter their age- because a child of God has abundant blessings and is given a mind that is sharper and more sensitive than the mind of any non-believer or, in my case, a believer that gets lost. 

            I can only imagine how differently my life could be if I had stuck with what I knew- the knowledge and passion for learning that I possessed as a child- but it does no good to dwell on that.  I would not trade or change a single part of my journey with God.  My life is a beautiful, hand-written masterpiece, just like everyone else’s life, and I truly appreciate the discipline that I had to endure so that God could bring me back to this place- back to my starting line. I’m back to a point where I can grow into a whole-hearted relationship with God and begin my life abiding in Christ. 

            I spent years being lost and looking for something in my heart that I already knew to be true.  I am thankful that God is unrelenting in his pursuit for His children.



(originally written on June 3, 2013)


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